I haven't written in a while; however, I have been posting on Instagram, Facebook, Tmblr and Twitter daily so please make sure you follow me there ;)
Writing is my way to vent, it is my therapy :) In the past few weeks I was under a lot of stress and I felt I couldn't get anything done. I leave the house M-F at 6:40 AM and I don't get back until at least 5ish. At 5, we have to finish homework, cook, fold laundry, pick up the house etc...
My son had three activities and my daughter one so we had activities daily except one day and I couldn't just cook on Monday for the rest of week. We like the food to be fresh not a week old !!
I could not focus at work which was getting busy, I didn't have time to schedule the payments and look at our accounts.
I knew I was taking on more than I needed to. I was getting sick.
At 8:00 PM , I would be so irritated that anything will throw me to the edge. I EAT HEALTHY, I am not supposed to be feeling this way.
I was dragging the household into a state of negativity , whining and irritability.
THIS HAD TO END !!
Why do I do all this? Who am I trying to impress?
Why am I comparing myself to others?
Here when social media can get to mommies! We see other moms " doing" it why can't we? She has her kids in 10, 000 activities and she still looks "happy."
She makes everything from scratch, her kids look "healthy and happy"
She just told me they barely could make ends meet and they are on vacation??? Come on, you know you were thinking it ;)
She this, she that etc...
I started my son in swimming when he was 12 months old , music and dance when he was 3 years old. Why? Because I wanted him to learn swimming when he was 1 just like those little videos.
I wanted him to be the next "so you think you can dance champion" or write his songs and win an Oscar.
Did he concentrate? Was he listening? Was he following directions? NOPE NOPE NOPE
After conversations with my husband and son, we decided to quit music. He wanted to keep hip hop and football.
I feel so relieved even if it is only one activity. That is an extra day without one.
Fighting with my son to practice music and do homework is gone . Sitting through an hour of music class is gone so I am thrilled. Do I regret it?? NO way !! Will I ever? Not me.
I am not going to make this long but here are some of the tips to help overly stressed working and non working moms ;)
1- STOP comparing yourself to other moms: We don't know their journey and they don't know ours. Concentrate on your own journey, your own life, kids, etc....
2- LET IT GO: I was holding on to all the "my kid is gonna become ..." I was holding on to the idea "my kid will play music, swim, do sports, dance, etc..." And I forgot that my kid is only a child who also goes to school and has homework, reading, projects etc... I let go of the idea that I want my house spotless like my mother's house. Did I get to where I want? NO WAY, it is a journey and I am work in progress.
3- COMMUNICATE: Talk to your kids and your spouse. I have seen kids in my son's football team who are not into the game at all but I am sure they do it coz their mom or dad want them to play. I did the same to my son for 5 years with music. He was NOT into it and I used to tell him " you will quit school before you quit music." What the heck was I doing???
4- SELF CARE: Find ways to take care of yourself first. A dear friend of mine told me that before she transitions to a different activity, she takes few minutes to check in and center herself.
Self care can be in a form of deep breathing, hot bath, meditation, praying, taking a walk by yourself, etc... In the safety airplane videos, they tell parents to wear their oxygen masks before helping their kids. Same thing applies to life, if mommies don't care for themselves , they won't have the energy to care for their babies.
5- SLOW DOWN: Life is busy and everything is on the go. We want everything done NOW that's why our kiddos are so impatient and cannot wait. My daughter says " mommy this is taking forever" I am sure she heard it from me. Now on our walks, if she stops to pick the flowers, I wait for her and we converse about flowers. They are the same freaking flowers she picks but she is happy and that's all that matters. Slow down now before life makes you slow down due to illness or whatever that might come our way.
Thank you so much for reading my post, please feel free to comment and share with your friends and family.
Please share with us what works for you and your family.
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